An anonymous man divided online opinion after sharing a screenshot of the “unsolicited advice” he received from a woman on Tinder.
Posting under the username u/KelbosaDownAHallway, the man posted the screenshot in Reddit‘s “Tinder” forum, writing: “This is the advice I got today on Tinder.” The post has amassed more than 24,000 upvotes and over 400 comments from Redditors who couldn’t agree if the woman was right or wrong to offer the man some “constructive criticism.”
“Unsolicited feedback alert: I matched with you just to tell you that your first picture is absolutely great. You look super sharp!” the woman’s message began. “But your other pics are very odd. If you had just 2 or 3 pics similar to the first one I think you’d get a lot of matches because you seriously look very handsome.”
In response, u/KelbosaDownAHallway simply said: “Appreciate the feedback.”
According to GQ, there’s an “unspoken art” to creating the perfect online dating profile. Part of that art, the magazine said, involves selecting the right photos. Sean Rad, founder and former CEO of Tinder, said that to attract matches, men should include “genuine” photos on their dating profiles that highlight their hobbies and interests.
“Be yourself! Your pictures should give others a sense of your personality, hobbies and interests. If you like to go rock climbing or hiking, show it. If you’re kind of a goofball, show it,” he told GQ.
He also said men should avoid using shirtless photos and selfies.
“I’ve talked to a lot of people about Tinder etiquette and the general consensus is that shirtless gym selfies are a huge ‘NO.’ You’re on Tinder to meet new people—the last thing you want those people to think is that you’re too self-absorbed or narcissistic to hold a real conversation,” Rad said, adding that selfies may also make a person appear “narcissistic.”
In the comments section of his post, u/KelbosaDownAHallway said his photos were more or less “normal.” Still, he appreciated the woman’s feedback.
“The pic this lady is talking about is normal. It’s me in a suit in a professional photoshoot. I don’t take a lot of pics but my second one is me in a t-shirt and shorts sitting on a step in a park with my bulldog. My friends took it and it’s normal. The third pic is me dressed like Jason Voorhees because I like horror movies and bought a mask made from the movie mold and build a cosplay out of it…I had a machete with the outfit. I guess [that’s] why it’s weird to her,” he wrote.
“It’s actually nice that she took time out of her day to think about helping me even if it wasn’t asked,” he concluded.
Many commenters agreed that the woman was kind to offer u/KelbosaDownAHallway some advice.
“That’s awesome of her,” wrote u/sboyd1989. “Taking the time to give someone decent advice when you personally don’t benefit and are at risk of a nasty reply is cool, especially the way she said it without being offensive or in a condescending way.”
“This is unexpectedly wholesome,” said u/takiya_benji.
“Someone being kind and honest online. A [rare] combo. Refreshing,” commented u/PortableFuton.
Others, however, thought the woman was out of line, despite u/KelbosaDownAHallway’s feelings on the matter.
“Wtf is that passive-aggressiveness…who asked? Do you, OP [original poster]. The right person will love you for who you are,” said u/NotAnOwl.
“Imagine being so toxic, and arrogant, to think MEN want UNSOLICITED advice,” wrote u/ajfrenchie937.
“The constructive criticism no one asked for,” added u/Enough_Camel2650.
Newsweek has reached out to u/KelbosaDownAHallway for comment.
Other “Tinder” posters to go viral include a man who invited over 60 Hinge matches to a Memorial Day barbecue, a man who was forced to relive an “embarrassing date” after matching with his high school crush on Bumble and a man who shared a screenshot of one woman’s “judgemental” dating profile.